Sunday, December 12, 2004
I have to post this
I just have to say I am so nervous about defending tomorrow that I think I might actually throw up. I have been reassured by countless people with different pieces of advice; my advisor wouldn't allow me to defend if I wasn't ready, I should be excited, its just a silly rite of passage, everyone passes through, I should have no problem talking for 10 minutes (it might be hard for me to only talk for 10 minutes), I do sound articulate when I speak, I know the most about my research (more than my advisor even), I've worked so hard on this for 2 years that it will pay off and be okay etc...
So despite knowing all this I am paralyzed with nervousness. When I think about my committee sitting around this weekend reading my thesis I feel like I will be sick. All I seem to be capable of doing is drinking Tension Tamer tea, knitting, and watching Trading Spaces. I had a nightmare last night about defending. It was so terrible I am hoping it is a good omen- like in theatre where a terrible dress rehearsal means a great opening night. In my nightmare I was not prepared for the defense, I wandered away somehow from my defense, I tried to print a copy of my thesis and all the files and back up files had vanished, I tried to thank my advisor for her help and she slowly closed her door in my face.
I have to formulate my 10 minute talk. I have thought considerably about it, but when I sit down to write it, I get freaked out. I am going to try to get over that right now. Maybe listening to some Dar Williams will help.
posted by knit wit | 12/12/2004 01:06:00 PM