Friday, May 27, 2005
Wanted: A best friend (a.k.a. a kindred spirit, a partner in crime, a Rhoda to my Mary etc...)
Preface: Let me preface by making it known that I am in no way shape or form desperate for friends. I have so many amazing people in my life- I am lucky to have Jo, my family, Jony, my super-supportive friends back in NY, and wonderful academic mentors (both at UW and not).
That said, I am lacking a best friend here in Wisconsin. Yeah, I've met great people, but I want someone I really click with- someone who just really gets me. Sure, I keep myself happily busy here- working, working, hanging out with Jo and such, but sometimes I'd like someone to call and say hi to- to talk about life with. Someone to have a beer with at Mickey's. I just worry that it is becoming more difficult to make friends since I am approaching 30 and I am in the isolating field of academia. I am honing in on what I want from a good friend and thus I am becoming increasingly picky. I also don't have time or energy to go out and actively meet new people. All of this just really doesn't bode well for making a new friend.
So, while I am being picky- here is the kind of friend I would love to have:
- All the usual stuff applies- funny, smart, respect for all people, kind etc... exceedingly kind, actually.
- Someone who is stable. Not moody at all.
- Issues are okay- but not a whole lifetime subscription. Everyone has shit, but I would love to find someone with an awareness of their shit. And an ability to talk about themselves, reflect on themsleves, and their lives and laugh about it.
- Someone who calls and says hi. Just to check in and tell me stories about their day.
- Someone who will understand if I want to spend a weekend or evening at home, working or hanging out with Jo. Someone who will not only understand this, but will still call me up in a few days and invite me to hang out again.
- Someone who is down to earth. Someone who is comfortable camping- who isn't picky about putting on make up or doing their hair.
- Someone who doesn't freak about not having an umbrella in the rain.
- Someone without an addiction to drama.
- Someone who looks critically (and with humor) at the world around them- especially pop culture.
- Someone who over-analyzes things at least as much as I do.
- Someone who can remind me when I am over-analyzing things.
- Someone who knows better than to ever take their shit out on other people.
- Someone who can talk about politics for hours- actually listening, engaging, and not getting bent out of shape.
- Someone who really values education and life-long learning, even at the expense of being a considered a geek or a brown-noser. Someone who really takes lessons and growth out of everything and everyone around them.
- No mean-spiritedness. None.
- Of course, liking beer, music, and being able to laugh for hours are all necessary as well.
- Age, sexual orientation, gender etc... don't matter in the least.
I know meeting someone like this is within the realm of possibility- I have clicked with such people recently (they just don't live anywhere near here) so I know potential friends are out there. This line from the Indigo Girls song that I have been listening to since leaving NY sums it all up pretty well: "hey kind friend help me forget where I've been- kind friend help me remember who I am..."
posted by knit wit | 5/27/2005 05:07:00 PM