grad school, politics, knitting and other meanderings. And not enough time for any of it.



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knit me more time...
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
(on) nodding (off)

Last night I had terrible insomnia. It wasn't the kind of insomnia that makes me toss and turn and feel generally miserable about not sleeping. It was the kind that keeps me wide awake (maybe that was the coffee I drank?) staring wide-eyed at the ceiling. Here's a snapshot of the crap going through my head that was keeping me from sleeping... ...maybe my tables are stretching out when dreamweaver renders them because the height for the whole table is off?......I could get up really early and finish some more book editing to get it done......will my prelim committee be finished grading my prelim before the ASA meeting in August... will I know the results before I leave?...while I am there... should I tell them to wait to after my presentation?......will I have to stare at them wondering what the results are...will I be happy?...embarrassed?......maybe the cells in the tables are the correct height and the whole table height is wrong so things get stretched out that way......Mohanty has that critique of Western views of non-Western women... what was that about again?......hey, July 4th is some kind of holiday and I don't have to work... I can stay home and get a full day of studying in......who is that person who critiques the term "difference"... is that King? Deborah King... oh hey, I remember something.....maybe the website from the first time they did the course is still up....maybe I can look at that for some more ideas about the organization of this website.....should I turn off our a/c?... You get the idea. I got up and worked some more until 2am. Today at work I was so tired I could have slept at my desk. See, I have this problem (Jo knows about this all too well) of thinking too much all the time. She understands that when I say things that seem out of whack with the conversation we are having, that it isn't because I wasn't listening, it is because I was thinking something else at the same time. During the last couple weeks Jo has been noticing that I nod my head a lot sometimes. The first time she noticed this was while we were watching Six Feet Under. I was nodding my head like I was agreeing with something on the show, but there was nothing to agree with. I guess she also noticed me doing this a lot at the talk we went to at Rainbow Community Bookstore. I know that evening I had a lot of information to mull over, so while the talk was going on I was thinking about many other things. I was totally multitasking while I was there. Then, I noticed myself nodding a little on the bus this morning. I was reading, and had music playing and I was also thinking about something else entirely. Have I become so totally strange that I am nodding along with whatever is going on in my head? Jeez. I really hope not. Am I just too tired to hold my head still? Let me know if you see me doing this, please.

posted by knit wit | 6/29/2005 04:19:00 PM

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