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knit me more time...
Saturday, July 23, 2005

I'm heading out to school soon, to hide myself in a library cubicle for the day. That is the only way I am going to start seriously memorizing stuff. No destractions. I'm not even bringing my ibook-- just my hundreds of pages notes I finished printing yesterday, paper, index cards, colored pens and a sandwich for lunch. Fun times on a summer Saturday... Like Sir Edwin, I could see myself giving up and throwing in the towel right now. But, then, like Sir Ed, the fear kicks in. Shear terror ought not to be a motivator, but it is very real, and hell, whatever gets me through works fine for me. I ran into a prof at school the other day who commented something to the effect of studying for the prelim must be "fun" because I get to totally immerse myself in what I love. Okay. Sure. But that is true only to a point. "Totally immerse" implies not having to go into work everyday, and not having any other responsibilities. That's just not the case. And it is an exam. With all kinds of memorizing and (whether it is most in my head or not) pressure. There's nothing like a big exam to suck the fun out of material you otherwise love more than anything. Yeah, I know I don't have to do this-- I choose to do this, but right now given a choice, I would choose to spend the day cleaning the inside and outside of my car, and then watching a bunch of movies and eating ice cream with Jo inside our wonderful air conditioned apartment.

posted by knit wit | 7/23/2005 08:39:00 AM

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